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I have decided that Matt Taibb...,
why my family will never become powerful financiers:
All three of my younger siblings live in Fargo ND. My little sister lives on the highest ground in the city - that river could swell up into the 50s before she had to worry about the sump pumps. My little brothers both live in upper story apartments, so their stuff won't be getting wet.
For some reason they keep going out and filling sandbags. Following standard
accepted field practice among economists I have refrained from asking them "why?". Instead I have lectured them on economic rationality (via printed newspaper columns and broadcasts of my disembodied, argumentative head) and tried to explain how they'll never strike it rich trading in derivatives if they're going to behave in a fashion any econ 101 textbook would tell you is a sure sign of severe mental retardation.
On the other hand they'll still have downstairs neighbors, which might be misconstrued as a good incentive for what they're doing. But they're my family, so I know perfectly well that they don't like the neighbors. Obviously they'll never strike it rich in real estate, then, either. From this I think I can construct a narrative structure for the impending generational poverty of my successive family tree, due to the 100% genetic covariance of this destructive pattern, thus justifying to my mother my low rate of reproduction.