President Scrooge here has mucked up enough Christmases. I advise a more appropriate holiday, preferably one in which somebody bitchslaps the king until he cries. With some small variations in the script we should be celebrating Zagmuk
at the Whitehouse this year. Some rituals need not be varied at all to be found suitable for modern life in Washington. For example on the 6th day of Zagmuk we devote ourselves to distinguishing what's happening in the mythical realm from what's happening here on Earth.
Especially attractive is a ritual in which the High Priest "drags the king around by his ears" and shows him the sites and sounds of Babylon up-close.
Barry McCaffery looks like a shoe in for that role.